Bruce Kell Designs
Insane Ideas
Make the penny, a dollar!....Click for details
Mandate nametags for everyone in public. Creates two
industries. Nametag makers (diamond nametags...laser
tags) and nametag police,
Build a roundabout around Kleindorf's Hardware store.
The Bruce Store where I make stuff and sell it on the
ground floor and live upstairs...probably on a beach.
The Democrats need to run a movie star too. Charisma.
The ability to read lines and look sincere...what
else do you need?
Volunteer Congress:
Quit paying senators and congresspeople. Everyone knows they don't do it for the paycheck.
Sure it won't stop them from robbing us blind but at least we won't be paying them to do it.
Save $25 million a year more or less. President and all those guys too
Viking Funeral company.
Ever wonder why you need six screwdrivers?
All manufacturers should be required to use #2
phillips head whenever physically possible.
Sell naming rights to the states:
Microssouri (Missouri)
EliLillyana (Indiana)
New Coke (New York)
McDonaldbama
Hell, sell naming rights to the country.
United States of Walmart! We're talking big money
here, folks.
Plant trees in the highway median strips.
$1000 tax on lawnmowers. What is this grass
thing,anyway?
5% (at least) of all tax money should be spent on
parties and pinwheels.
If people were happier we
wouldn't spend as much jailing them.
Anyone(except me) proposing a new law should have to
do so at high noon while hanging naked and upside down
in front of the courthouse. Don't we have enough
laws? (The president should have to do this twice
before he can take us into war.)
A large bonus for anyone that convinces the
legislature to get rid of a law.
Cap executive salaries at ten times the lowest paid
worker's salary. Executives should have to work in the
ranks a couple days a week too.
Get rid of the owners in professional sports.
Shouldn't the Indianapolis Colts belong to
Indianapolis? Wouldn't it be nice if all that money
was going into the treasury?
Go to Alabama and rasie an army to take the panhandle from Florida.
Clearly it should belong to Alabama and Florida doesn't really respect it anyway.
72 Virgins
Whoever is elected President should get 72 virgins of his/her choice from the available pool of volunteers.
I want my President to have a good sex life. I think it makes us all safer.
I wonder if the Iraqi war would have ever happened if Laura had better oral skills.
It would probably attract a better quality of candidate as well.
Give the best and brightest a reason to run.
It would have kept Bill out of trouble.
Now bear in mind they are only virgins once and the 72 encounters would be spread over a four year period.
Of course if she/he gets reelected they get 72 more.
(Clearly this needs to be grouped with the volunteer congress concept.
A couple of others:
Mandate handles on all mattresses.
No more homework. (I expect to get elected on this concept alone.)
Pose nude for Bruce. Immortalize yourself on canvas or paper.
Send Bruce your own crazy idea to be posted right here!
